


From A Certain Child's Point of View:  The Reckoning

by Lailuva



Series: From The Child's Point of View [8]
Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Alternate POV, Baby Yoda POV, Canon-Typical Violence, I feel that deserves a warning, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, The Baby Is Sad, he's pretty miserable in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:29:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24699850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lailuva/pseuds/Lailuva
Summary: His dad has a new job.  But there's something different about this one.  He has a bad feeling about this....
Relationships: Baby Yoda & The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)
Series: From The Child's Point of View [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1592260
Comments: 150
Kudos: 356





	1. The Call

When he wakes up, Dad is staring at him from his chair. Usually Dad is staring at the ship’s dashboard, and he has to tell Dad that he’s awake.

“Hey there, womp rat,” says Dad, scooping him up before he’s blinked all the gunkiness out of his eyes. Dad holds him close and wipes the gunkies from his eyes for him, even though he usually does it himself.

“There you go,” says Dad, adjusting him so he’s higher now, and so close he can see his own face in the black part of Dad’s helmet. He reaches out to touch it, and Dad laughs softly. “Good morning to you too. You hungry? Want some food?”

He’s a little hungry, and he watches as Dad retrieves a silver-wrapped ration bar from a box under the dashboard. It’s all they have again; he ate all the frogs they caught last time they went to the mud planet. He still doesn’t like ration bars, but Dad says they need more credits if they’re going to buy fresh food again.

Dad unwraps the ration bar for him, but instead of handing it to him and letting him eat, Dad breaks off a little piece and holds it up to his mouth. Winta used to do that for him, but Dad always has him eat by himself. Dad doesn’t move, though, and he carefully eats the bite right out of Dad’s hand. Dad gets him another, and another, feeding him piece by piece.

Is Dad hungry too? He takes the piece Dad is holding and holds it out.  _ Dad, eat? _

“You eat it,” says Dad. He can hear Dad’s stomach growl.

There’s enough light to see movement under the helmet. There is a face under there? If there’s a face, is there a mouth too?

He sticks his hand under the helmet. “Hey!” says Dad, but he ignores that. He can feel warm skin - is it green like his? - and a little bit of scratchy hair. He reaches up further and finds a mouth, and that’s where he puts the food.

“Stop it,” says Dad, pulling his hand out from under the helmet. “I’ll eat later. Right now it’s your turn.”

This game is fun, but he wants to eat and he doesn’t want Dad to put him down, so he eats the next piece instead of feeding it to Dad. “Jate,” says Dad, and he eats every bite until only the silvery wrapper is left.

He reaches for the wrapper and almost tips out of Dad’s hands. Dad catches him, but for a moment he is close to the dashboard and all the buttons! He slaps a big one before Dad lifts him back up, and a hologram of a man in a long coat flickers on in front of them, saying “If you succeed, you keep the child and I will have your name cleared with the Guild.”

Dad stops it before it says any more. He stares at the man curiously; the voice sounds familiar but he can’t place it.  _ Who’s that? _ he asks Dad, pointing at the hologram.

“It’s a holorecording,” says Dad.

_ I know that, _ he returns. He knows lots of words for things now; Dad tells him what things are all the time.

Dad is staring at the hologram man, though, not listening.  _ Dad? _ he asks, patting the helmet before pointing at the hologram again.

“That’s Greef Karga,” says Dad. “What do you think? Can we trust him?”

Greef Karga said “You keep the child.” He’s a child. Greef was calling Dad and talking to him. Greef wants Dad to keep him? The decision is easy. _ I like him, _ he tells Dad.

Dad snorts. “Yeah. We definitely should bring reinforcements.”

_ Dad, what are reinforcements? _ he asks, but Dad doesn’t answer. Dad just holds him close and lets him play with the edge of his cloak while they fly through hyperspace.

-

When the ship jumps out of hyperspace, he recognizes the green planet ahead immediately. It’s the skughole!  _ Are we going to see Winta? Can we go see my friends? _ he asks excitedly.

“Yup, that’s Sorgan,” says Dad. “We’re gonna see if we can talk Cara into coming with us.”

He remembers how they left so there would be no blasters, just like they left to keep Peli away from blasters. He’s sad they can’t go see Winta and the other children, but he understands - at least that part. _ Dad, what’s Sorgan? _

Dad doesn’t tell him, but he knows this is the skughole. As soon as they leave the ship he remembers the soft ground and the tree-smells. He spends so long remembering he has to tell Dad to wait for him, and together they walk to the little town where they met Cara.

He likes seeing the brown wooden buildings again. He looks everywhere, hoping that even if they aren’t back at her home, he will still see Winta. Maybe she will come looking for Cara too?

Dad is looking around the buildings, but he and Dad both stop when they hear loud shouting from a big building in the middle. Dad goes and he follows. They walk inside and there are lots of people, all shouting and cheering, but they are not mad. They like whatever they’re watching, and while he can’t see it, he can hear the sounds of people hitting.

Dad stops and folds his hands in front of him, watching whatever is going on. He has to peer through all the people’s legs, and that’s when he sees Cara! She’s fighting a huge man with no sleeves on his shirt like her, but with horns instead of black hair, and the two of them are attached by an orange sparkly laser of some sort. Cara is grinning and so happy she is like a bright star to his sense with no name. She motions for the Horn Man to come hit her.

They both hit each other, and the Horn Man throws her into the bar. Everyone cheers. He looks at Dad to see if Dad will shoot the Horn Man for hurting Cara, but Dad only watches. Dad isn’t even worried, so he decides he doesn’t have to be worried either.

Cara and Horn Man keep hitting each other. They are play-fighting, not real-fighting, he realizes. Yarull’s friends would all get in a circle like this and watch two of them fight, and take turns in the middle. He snuck out of his pod to watch sometimes, but he’d learned to go back if Yarull lost. That always made Yarull mad, and it was never good when Yarull caught him being bad when he was already mad.

Horn Man throws Cara to the ground, but she flips back over on top of him and punches him hard. Then she wraps the orange laser rope around his neck and squeezes it tight. He’s never seen anything like that before. But the Horn Man hits his belt and makes the rope disappear, and Cara cheers and yells “Pay up, mudsuckers!”

People give Cara credits and the circle breaks up, so finally he and Dad can walk up to her. “Looking for some work?” asks Dad.

“Nice to see you too,” says Cara with a snort. She walks over to the bar and asks for a flagon of spotchka and a bowl of some sort of food he’s never seen before. Together they all walk over to a nearby table, where Cara puts down the food and her cup and dumps a big pile of metal sticks while Dad puts him in a high chair so he can see too. Dad and Cara start talking but he is more interested in the metal sticks. He knows what those are: credits. People give them to Dad for doing a job, and Dad gives them to other people for food and fuel for the ship and other things Dad wants.

“They’re providing the plan and firepower. I’m the snare,” says Dad, catching his attention.

“With the kid?” asks Cara.

“That’s why I’m coming to you,” says Dad.

Cara has to help Dad! They’re friends! But when he looks at her she is shaking her head. “I don’t know. I’ve been advised to lay low.”

He looks over at Dad, who keeps talking. Dad wants Cara to come with them to do whatever job Dad has next. Cara is the reinforcements? Reinforcements are friends who help do jobs?

There’s a loud noise and suddenly more credits drop on the table. “Come back soon,” says Cara to whoever it is, but he doesn’t look. There are lots of credits here, right in front of them. Dad needs credits. When there aren’t enough Dad will only buy ration bars and not fresh food, like the yummy nerf meat he got a few weeks ago. They’re Cara’s, but she has lots. Maybe she can share?

The credits are just far away enough to be out of reach. He has little arms, not big ones like Dad’s. He reaches out. He can move them if he tries. He’s gotten a lot better at moving things and he can move more things and bigger things now before he has to sleep.

But they’re Cara’s. He tried to take food from a food stall once like that and Dad told him no, because it wasn’t theirs.  _ Dad, can I take some credits? _ he asks, but Dad is still focused on Cara.

“I have a ship,” Dad tells her. “I can bring you there and back with a handsome reward. You can live free of worry.” He really wants Cara to be their reinforcements. He can sense it and Dad is leaning so far forward on the table he’ll fall over if he’s not careful.

“I’m already free of worry, and I’m not in the mood to play soldier anymore,” says Cara. “Especially fighting some local warlord.”

“He’s not a local warlord,” says Dad. “He’s Imperial.”

Cara’s feelings change suddenly. He doesn’t understand, but Cara smiles and says “I’m in.”

It makes Dad happy, and he sits back up. “Good. Let’s go.” Dad stands, picking him up and setting him back on the ground.

They go with Cara to get her bag of things before heading back to the ship. His feet hurt and he’s tired and he keeps having to tell Cara and Dad to slow down. _ Dad, carry me, _ he whines, but Dad doesn’t listen. Dad is supposed to listen! _ Dad, carry me! _ he insists, but he still has to walk all the way to the ship. Dad doesn’t pick him up until they’re all inside, and even then it’s only to carry him to the cockpit and put him in his box. Dad doesn’t even let him sit in his lap for takeoff this time, and Dad has been letting him sometimes because he’s been good and not touching the buttons and the joysticks most of the time. He asks for the ball, but Dad still doesn’t give it to him. Dad isn’t really talking to him at all. Just Cara.

He leans on the edge of his box, his ears drooping. He’s getting a bad feeling again. He just hopes Dad only lets Cara on the ship this time, and not any mean people.

The ship takes off and flies through the stars. They’re pretty, like they always are, but when he tries to point that out no one pays attention to him. Dad is too busy flying the ship and too busy talking to Cara, and Cara is too busy talking back.

Dad finally gets out of his chair.  _ Dad! Dad! _ he calls, but Dad ignores him again and walks out of the cockpit, and Cara follows. He can hear their voices drifting away below.

It’s not fair! Why is Dad only paying attention to Cara? Dad is worried and Dad doesn’t always listen the first time when he’s worried, but he’s had to try and get Dad’s attention lots of times and it hasn’t worked!

Well, if Dad won’t listen, he’ll have to  _ make _ him listen.

Carefully, he climbs out of his box. He grumbles to himself; Dad usually gets him out and carries him to whichever level of the ship he’s on so he doesn’t have to climb. He hears the blaster cabinet open, and Dad and Cara talking, so he looks down the ladder well. Dad has opened the blaster cabinet and is letting Cara look. “Pick one,” says Dad.

That’s not fair either! He never gets to play in there. Dad never lets anyone get in his blaster cabinet. But Dad is letting Cara play with whatever she wants. She likes all the blasters and all the other things he doesn’t know the names of, and is excited to see them all.

Dad and Cara are still talking but he doesn’t pay attention. They only talk about boring things. He pokes his head down. Dad might pay attention if he jumps down. Dad doesn’t like it when he does that and tells him he’ll hurt his head, even though he always lands lightly. But Dad gets worried too, and he doesn’t like to make Dad worried, especially when he’s already worried. He doesn’t want to make Dad worried. He just wants Dad to pay attention to him and pick him up and hold him.

Wait.

Dad and Cara are down here. No one is in the cockpit. Dad never leaves him alone in the cockpit because of all the times he’s pressed the buttons. Pressing buttons always gets Dad’s attention! Whenever the ship makes rumbly noises, Dad always pays attention!

He hurries back to try and find the green button. It is an important button and Dad always pays attention right away if he tries to get that one. He has to give himself a push to make it but jumps up onto Dad’s chair, and then onto the dashboard. He isn’t usually allowed here unless he’s been very good and Dad is letting him stay here to watch Dad fly the ship. There are so many buttons to choose from!

He would like to hit the stupid screen Dad is always looking at but he can’t reach it, so instead he stomps on the buttons under his feet. Red and yellow lights dance and the ship starts to rumble and suddenly he looks up and spots the joystick. That is what makes the ship move. He’s seen Dad use it lots of times. One time when he was really good, Dad held his hands on it and they flew the ship together. But he’s never played with it by himself before!

He grabs it and pulls as hard as he can. It’s hard to move but it does and the ship moves too! He’s flying the ship! The ship starts yelling at him and the screen turns all red but that can’t be important because he’s flying the ship all by himself, just like Dad!

He turns the ship one way, then the other. It’s too much fun and he can’t stop laughing! This is the best! It’s noisy but that doesn’t bother him. How come Dad doesn’t let him fly the ship more often?

It’s so fun he’s forgotten all about how it will get Dad’s attention until Dad’s hands come out of nowhere and grab him.  _ Hey! _ he says, but at least Dad has him - but only for a moment, because Dad hands him to Cara! But the ship is still shaking and it’s still fun, so he keeps laughing until Cara puts him in his box. He wants to do that again!

Dad hits all the buttons and the screen turns blue again and the ship doesn’t shake or rumble anymore.  _ That was fun! _ he says.

“We need someone to watch that thing,” says Cara.

“Yeah,” says Dad. He is still talking to Cara.

He ignores them and goes back to pushing buttons. There are some he can reach from his box, and surely one of them will make the ship rumble and get Dad’s attention again. Dad and Cara are still talking, even when the ship shudders and jumps into hyperspace. He hits the buttons harder.

“Hey!” says Dad suddenly, making him jump. Dad is paying attention to him now, and Dad is not happy. “Stop that,” says Dad. “You know not to touch those.”

Is Dad mad? Dad sounds mad. He doesn’t want Dad to be mad… He leaves the buttons alone and sinks back down in his box as Dad turns back around and Cara leaves the cockpit.

Dad presses some more of his own buttons before getting out of his chair and walking over to the box, holding out his arms. “Come on. You clearly need some sleep.”

_ I don’t  _ want  _ to sleep! _ he says, but Dad picks him up anyway and tries to lay him on Dad’s shoulder. He kicks and squirms and won’t let Dad do it, and when Dad lays him down in his arms instead, he yells as loud as he can until Dad holds him upright again.

“Shh, shh. You want to sleep in the bunk instead?” asks Dad.

_ No! _ he tells Dad, and when Dad tries to carry him to the ladder, he reaches out and knocks his box right out of its chair.

Dad sighs. “What’s gotten into you?” asks Dad.

He doesn’t know. All he knows is that if he yells, Dad keeps holding him, so he yells and yells and yells.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed your one fluff at the beginning. That's all you get! >:)
> 
> Next time: adding a new member to the Baby Yoda Protection Squad.


	2. The Ugnaught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They pick up a new friend, and an unexpected one.

He wakes up back in his box and growls. He tried so hard not to fall asleep, so that Dad wouldn’t put him down. He yelled a long time and Dad walked over the whole ship, holding him and patting his back. He yelled at Cara too when she tried to give him food and he yelled loudest when she and Dad tried to talk. The last thing he remembers is Cara saying she’s glad he didn’t act like that when they had to share the barn on Sorgan.

He sits up, rubbing his eyes, and looks ahead. Dad is flying the ship and they are going towards a big yellow-gold planet. Are they visiting Peli? But when they get closer he sees all the brown rocks and mud and finally the low house and the fence with the brown creatures inside and the wheel on a pole. This is Goggles’ house, on the planet where Dad found him.

Why are they going here? Suddenly he remembers that while Dad never hit him, Dad did not like all the yelling he did. Dad isn’t going to put him back, is he? He sinks down in his box. He will be good now. He doesn’t want Dad to put him back and leave him.

The ship lands on the ground and Cara comes into the cockpit to watch Dad. Dad turns the ship off and turns around. He is about to raise his arms so Dad will pick him up when Cara leans over and pushes the buttons on the front. His box rises up in the air.

Dad is staring at Cara now. “What?” asks Cara. “You weren’t going to leave him in the cockpit again, were you?”

“No,” says Dad, and he leaves the cockpit. The box floats after, and Cara comes behind. He starts to whine - Dad is supposed to carry him off the ship! - but then he remembers he doesn’t want Dad to put him back and stops. Maybe Dad will carry him later.

“So who’s this?” asks Cara as the ramp lowers and they start to walk off the ship. “You don’t seem like the type to make a lot of friends.”

“I’m not,” says Dad. “But this Ugnaught is good people. He’s helped me before.”

“What’s his name?” asks Cara. Dad doesn’t answer.

They walk outside and Goggles meets them at his door. “I wondered if you would return,” he says. He looks at all three of them and stares at him the longest, but doesn’t say anything except, “Come inside.”

They follow Goggles inside. Dad and Cara are so big they have to lean down so they don’t hit the ceiling. They sit, and Dad puts his box down. He reaches for Dad, but Dad doesn’t pick him up. Goggles is nice. Maybe Goggles will hold him? It would be nice if someone would hold him. He reaches out as Goggles walks over, his goggles gone now and his pale head covered in nothing but a few wispy white hairs. He wants to touch it. He tries to reach again but can’t go far enough.

Goggles only looks at him, then over at Dad. “It hasn’t grown much.”

“I think it might be a strand-cast,” says Dad.

“I don’t think it was engineered,” says Goggles. He keeps talking to Dad; Goggles is talking about him, but he doesn’t understand any of the words. They’re all talking about him, not to him, anyway, just like Big Boss and the others did. He puts his hand down.

“This is Cara Dune,” Dad tells Goggles. “She was a shock trooper.”

“You were a dropper,” says Goggles, pointing to the stripes on Cara’s arms.

“Did you serve?” asks Cara.

“On the other side, I’m afraid,” says Goggles. He looks over at Cara; she doesn’t like what Goggles said. It makes her angry, though he doesn’t understand why. Goggles just explains that he serves no one but himself. Why would Cara be mad at that? Is she going to be mean to Goggles?

But suddenly there is a noise from the doorway, and when he looks over, it’s Droid! The same Droid who was going to shoot him when he met Dad!

Dad and Cara stand up and point their blasters immediately. Good. Dad will shoot Droid and Droid will never be able to shoot him.

Droid is not afraid of Dad, though - or at least he thinks so, because he can’t sense a droid’s feelings, but he can guess because Droid keeps walking up. He doesn’t even have a blaster, only a tray of cups. “Does anyone care for some tea?”

“Please, lower your blasters. He will not harm you,” says Goggles.

“That thing is programmed to kill the baby!” says Dad. Dad is angry, but scared too. Dad does not want Droid to hurt him. But how can Droid hurt him if Droid doesn’t have a blaster anymore?

“Not anymore,” says Goggles. “It was left behind in the wake of your destruction. I found it laying where it fell, devoid of all life.”

Goggles keeps talking, and there are too many words he doesn’t know, but he still tries to make sense of it. Goggles went back to where Dad found him and got Droid. He wonders if Goggles found Yarull too, though Yarull wasn’t a droid, so Goggles wouldn’t be able to fix him. But Goggles did fix Droid. Goggles taught Droid new things and took care of him.

Suddenly he understands! Goggles found Droid and kept him and became his Dad. Just like Dad found  _ him _ and kept him and became his Dad.

He likes Droid now. Maybe they can be friends. He would like a new friend.

Dad does not like Droid at all, and stares at it. Dad is still angry, and something almost-like-scared. Dad does not want Droid to be his friend.

“Tea?” asks Droid, holding out a cup.

Dad only sighs. Cara takes it and drinks.

_ I want tea, _ he says, but no one listens to him.

“He will  _ not _ harm you, nor the child,” says Goggles. Dad still doesn’t say anything, so Goggles says “I have spoken.”

Goggles nods to Droid and Droid leaves. Goggles stands up and goes to follow. “You can stay the night, if you wish,” he says, and walks outside after Droid.

Cara nods at the tea. “It’s good.”

Dad only grunts.

Cara raises an eyebrow. “So will you be asking him to help us, or…?”

Dad sighs and stands. “Watch the kid. Don’t let that droid anywhere near him.”

“You sure we can trust the Ugnaught?” asks Cara. “He  _ is _ former Imperial. And now he’s got a hunter droid he can reprogram however he likes.” She tips her cup at the doorway. “On the other hand, one of those on our side -”

_ “No!” _ says Dad, spinning to face her. “It tried to  _ kill _ him, Cara!”

It’s the strange like-scared-but-not-quite feeling again. It’s something about droids, but he doesn’t understand.  _ Dad? _ he asks, but Dad doesn’t answer.

“You cannot let that droid near him, Cara,” says Dad.

“All right.” Cara nods. “I’ll watch him.”

“Thank you.” Dad turns and leaves. He almost whines so Dad will come back and get him, but then remembers he had decided to be good. Dad could still put him back, and this time he wouldn’t even have Yarull with him.

Cara drinks more tea. “So what’s up with him and droids?” she asks.

_ I don’t know, _ he says. _ Dad just says droids are bad. Even Peli’s droids, and they were nice to me. _

Cara doesn’t answer. She just sips her tea, and they sit together quietly for a while.

Finally, Dad comes back in. “Kuiil says he’ll help us.”

“Kuiil? That’s his name?” Cara snorts. “You just found that out, didn’t you?”

Dad doesn’t answer. “The droid and the blurrgs are coming too. I trust the Ugnaught enough, but promise me you won’t let the child be alone with the droid. Please.”

Cara nods. “Promise.”

“Thank you,” says Dad. Dad leans over and for a moment he thinks Dad will pick him up, but Dad only presses the button on his box to make it rise up in the air, and he only gets to watch Dad’s back as they go outside.

Goggles’ name is Kuiil, he finds out, because that is what Dad and Cara call Goggles now. Kuiil has lots of things for them to do. There are boxes to pack, Kuiil’s tools so he can do maintenance on things, food and saddles for the big creatures called blurrgs, and other things he doesn’t hear the name of. He doesn’t get to help, only watch as Dad and Cara and Droid and Kuiil carry things. Dad or Cara stay close by him all the time, and they don’t let Droid get near him.

Finally all of Kuiil’s things are loaded, and he herds the three blurrgs on the ship. Kuiil and Droid and Cara and Dad and him all get on board, and once again the ship flies up to the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Din ilu but you really should be better at learning names, especially when the person has really gone out of their way to help you. So I had to have Cara drag him a bit for that. :P
> 
> Next time: Be mindful of your feelings, Baby Yoda...


	3. Scruples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering...

The ship is very crowded now. The three blurrgs take up a lot of the cargo hold. Kuiil brought lots of things too, saying he was sure Dad would need engineering help and already fiddling with some parts of the ship. He tried to help but Dad and Kuiil told him no. Dad made him go back in the box and took him away, because Droid was helping Kuiil and Dad did not want him near Droid.

He used to be able to play in the cargo hold while Dad was down there, but now Dad won’t let him get out of his box at all! He wants to go see the blurrgs and help Kuiil give them food. He wants to see what all the spiky things on Droid do. He wants to show Kuiil and Cara how he can lift and move things. But Dad says no and to stay and doesn’t even sit by him. Dad talks to Kuiil and Cara instead, telling them about some sort of trap and a plan and Greef Karga and the kid.

Dad is talking about him again. Not  _ to _ him. Dad hasn’t talked  _ to _ him since Dad made him go to sleep.

Even listening isn’t interesting. Dad is worried about something, and keeps walking around, and gets angry if Droid gets too close or tries to help Kuiil work on the ship. The only thing that’s new is that Kuiil says Droid is called IG-11, but Dad refuses to call it that.

Cara doesn’t like Dad walking around, and tells him, “Quit pacing. You’re driving me crazy.”

Dad doesn’t really like that, but he does stop. “I’d say we should have a rematch if there was more room.”

“Who says we can’t?” Cara sits up and puts her elbow on one of the crates, offering Dad her hand. “Twenty creds says I beat you into the dust with one arm.”

She wants to fight Dad? Aren’t they friends?

“You’re on,” says Dad, and he sits down across from her and takes her hand. He starts to push her hand down but she pushes it back, and they stay like that, hands locked. Are they fighting? He’s never seen fighting like that before. Or is it play-fighting? But Dad and Cara are grunting and Dad’s arm is starting to hurt. Cara is hurting him!

What if Cara isn’t a friend anymore? What if she’s like Ugly Bald Man and the others, who were supposed to do a job with Dad but tried to hurt him? What if Dad gets hurt and there’s no one to take care of him anymore? He can’t lose Dad!

“I got you, Mando,” says Cara. She’s happy that Dad is hurting! She  _ is _ being mean!

“Care to double the bet?” asks Dad.

He doesn’t like this. He wants Cara to stop.

He reaches out. He could push Cara. But then he remembers Cara’s fight with the Horn Man, back on the skughole. She didn’t push him to win the fight. She squeezed his neck and he stopped.

He squeezes Cara’s neck. It’s easy, even easier than pushing, and she is already stopping. He squeezes harder. He will  _ make _ her stop hurting Dad. It’s not fair, her being mean to Dad! She’s supposed to be his friend!

Cara lets go of Dad’s hand and grabs her neck. Good.  _ No one _ should hurt his Dad. He  _ hates _ people who hurt his Dad!

“No!” shouts Dad, and suddenly Dad grabs him. “No, no! Stop!”

_ What? _ Dad grabbing him breaks his concentration and he lets go. He can hear Cara gasping but Dad is the one whose feelings are loudest and Dad is  _ scared. _ “We’re friends! We’re friends! Cara is my friend!”

_ But she was hurting you, Dad, _ he tries to say, but his words get lost. Dad is holding him too tight and it’s scary and everyone is scared scared and  _ angry - _

“Curious,” says Kuiil.

“Curious?!” repeats Cara. She is a little scared like Dad but mostly very mad. “It almost killed me!”

Killed her?  _ I didn’t mean to, Dad, _ he says, but Dad isn’t listening. His voice is lost under Kuiil’s as he says, “The story you told me of the mudhorn now makes more sense.”

“What is it?” asks Dad.

_ Dad, _ he calls, but Kuiil talks over him again. “What it is, I don’t know. But what it does, this - this I’ve heard rumors of.”

“What, when you worked for the Empire?” snaps Cara, still angry.

Now Kuiil is mad too. “When I was  _ sold _ to the Empire, in indentured servitude.”

Cara and Kuiil are arguing and it’s loud, everyone is mad and it’s  _ loud _ and he doesn’t like it. He just wants quiet. He just wants Dad, but Dad is paying attention to Cara and Kuiil and IG-11 walking over.

Dad wants them to be quiet too. “Tell you what,” he says to Kuiil. “I could really use your craftwork right now.”

Dad sets him down in his box.  _ Dad! _ he cries,  _ Dad, I want to stay with you! _ But Dad lets go, and asks Kuiil, “Can you pad this container so the child can sleep better?”

_ Dad, _ he calls, but Kuiil is the one who pats him nicely. “I shall fabricate a better one,” says Kuiil. “Then perhaps this dropper can see how one can win their freedom with the skill of one’s hands.”

Kuiil turns away and goes to get his things out of boxes, telling IG-11 to bring him his tools. Cara snorts and turns away too, climbing the ladder to the cockpit.

Everyone is still so mad and it feels like it’s hanging in the air. He wishes it was just him and Dad again, like not so long ago when he woke up and Dad fed him and told him jate and held him.  _ Dad, _ he tries again. _ Dad? _

Dad pats his head, but then walks away and follows Cara up into the cockpit. He sinks back into his box. Dad isn’t holding him. He was mean to Dad’s friend. Dad must not want to hold him because he was bad.

He grabs onto his blue blanket, because it smells a little bit like Dad. But it’s not the same.

-

He watches Kuiil. IG-11 and Kuiil take many different parts out of different boxes, and Kuiil piles them in front of him and starts to put them together with tools, kind of like Peli did. There are lots of different pieces of shiny metal, big panels and curvy sticks and little bits that Kuiil uses to stick the bigger pieces together. Kuiil’s tools make funny sounds and pretty sparkles, just like Dad’s rifle.

He doesn’t get out of the box but Kuiil lets him watch. Slowly, the metal pieces start making a round shape, like half of the yucky cooked egg Dad tried to get him to eat once. There are wires inside, but Kuiil puts them into place and covers them with another layer before adding a top part. Then Kuiil starts making the top, but only half a top. It isn’t an egg-shape. It looks familiar, somehow. Where has he seen it before?

Suddenly, he realizes it’s a pod. Kuiil is making a new pod. And since he’s the only one here who isn’t a grown-up, it must be for him.

He sinks down in his box, but it’s too small for him to hide in. He almost feels like Yarull will show up, grab him by his collar and tell him,  _ Go back in the pod, you little shit. And shut up! That’s all you get when you’re bad. _

He was bad. He hurt Cara. So now Dad will put him back in a pod. He doesn’t want to go back in a pod! Dad always carries him or lets him walk. He likes to walk, to feel the cold ship floor or nice squishy dirt under his toes. And he wants Dad to carry him! He can see everything when he’s up high with Dad, not shut in a pod. He likes touching Dad’s shiny metal armor and his soft fuzzy cape. When he is tucked in Dad’s arm, he is warm and safe and happy. There’s no warm and safe and happy in a pod. Just being alone.

Kuiil is almost done when IG-11 brings Kuiil some food. IG-11 hands him some food too. He throws it on the floor, but no one pays attention. Maybe it will make Dad pay attention when he finally comes down from the cockpit? Dad does not like it when he makes a mess.

But IG-11 just cleans it up. Dad didn’t see it. He sighs and hides under his blanket.

He must’ve fallen asleep for a while, because the next thing he knows is voices; Cara and Kuiil are talking angrily to each other again. He peeks out and Dad is there too. They are all standing around a shiny silver pod.

Dad sees him looking and walks over.  _ Dad, _ he whines, and finally Dad picks him up! But Dad carries him over to the pod. “Look what Kuiil made for you,” says Dad, and Dad tries to put him inside.

He is  _ not _ going inside the pod! _ No! _ he tells Dad, and hooks his claws into Dad’s sleeves and refuses to let go. He feels his feet touch the pod so he kicks up and hooks those claws in Dad’s sleeve too.  _ I’m not going! _ he tells Dad. He doesn’t care if he’s being bad anymore. _ No pod! _

“Hey, stop it,” says Dad. Dad tries to get him off his sleeve but Dad can only use one hand and he has both his hands and feet. He is  _ not _ getting in that pod and no one can make him!

Dad sighs. “What’s wrong? Isn’t it nice?” Dad tries lowering him into the pod again but stops when he starts climbing up Dad’s arm. Dad pats the inside. “Kuiil padded it and everything. We can replace that box and use this now.”

Dad is getting rid of his box?!  _ No! _ he tells Dad, and pushes his box back over and yells as loud as he can.  _ I want my box! _

“Don’t think he likes it,” says Cara with a snort.

Dad sighs again but lifts him up, and finally he can bury his face in Dad’s cloak. “We should arrive soon. Can you secure things down here? And Kuiil, can you ready the blurrgs?”

Cara and Kuiil say yes, and Dad walks away. Dad holds him as he climbs up the ladder. Good. He wants to be alone with Dad, and have Dad hold him and tell him jate and feed him by hand and all those other nice things he got to do when it was just him and Dad.

Dad sits in his chair, putting him higher on Dad’s shoulder, and then he sees the new pod has followed them and now it’s sitting in the chair where his box is supposed to be. He doesn’t want the pod! He wants his box! He whines, much louder this time.

“Hey.” Dad lowers him again, turning around so they both have to face the pod. He presses his face against Dad’s shiny silver armor, refusing to look. “Why don’t you like it? Kuiil made it for you. It’s much nicer than your box, look.” Dad turns him around, but he turns himself right back and shoves his face into the cool silver armor.

Dad just sighs, and pats his back. He likes back pats. They are nice, but he wants more and grasps onto the edges of Dad’s armor.  _ Dad, _ he whines, but what else he can say, he doesn’t know. Everything changed so fast. Having nice friends on the ship should be fun, but instead it’s been nothing but bad. Something’s different, he can sense it, but he doesn’t know what it is and no one will tell him and he has no words to ask with.

“Here,” says Dad, and lifts him up and turns him around again. He starts to whine, but Dad says, “Here, just look, okay?” He grabs on to Dad’s hand to make sure Dad can’t put him down, but he does look at the pod.

“Your blanket’s inside, see?” says Dad, lifting it up to show him. “And look, the bottom is padded. It’s more comfortable than your box.”

_ I want my box! _ he whines, and Dad says, “We can still keep the box. But this is nicer. Kuiil made it just for you.” Dad taps on the outside and it makes a metal-sound. “It’s even all shiny and silver. You like shiny silver things. It’s like your ball.”

It  _ is _ shiny and silver and it  _ is _ much prettier than his old pod. But he remembers being shut inside for so long, and he grabs at Dad again instead. His box has no lid and no one can shut him inside. _ No pod! I want my box! _

Dad sighs and puts him back on his shoulder. “I know, kid, I know.” Dad pats his back, nice gentle pats. Dad is not mad, even though he is definitely being bad and not doing what he’s supposed to. Dad has lots of feelings he can’t understand again, but none of them are mad.

“Look,” says Dad, lowering him down to face the pod again. He whines, but Dad says “No, look,” and pushes a button. The top closes all the way and he starts to cry. He doesn’t want to be inside, all alone and in the dark!

“It’s okay,” says Dad, opening it up. “Look, it’s just like the bunk, see?” Dad shuts the pod again, then opens it. “You hide in the bunk, right? Now you can hide here, so you can come with us.”

Come with Dad? He is going with Dad this time? But he’s not supposed to go on jobs. There are bad people on jobs, like Ugly Bald Human. Why is this different?

Dad raps the top of the pod with his hand and he flinches. “It’s safe in here. No one can get you here. And it’ll withstand blaster fire. It’s like armor, see?”

Armor? His ears perk up even though he didn’t mean them too. Dad has armor, shiny silver, and this is shiny silver too. This is armor? He gets armor like Dad?

“You can’t stay on the ship this time,” says Dad. “You can ride in here.”

Dad lowers him into the pod again. He clutches Dad’s hands, but Dad doesn’t let go, and his feet touch the bottom. His blanket is there; underneath it is padding, and that doesn’t feel so bad. He taps it with his feet, finally walking out into the pod, though he holds tight to one of Dad’s hands. Dad can’t close it if his hand is still in the pod.

He feels the edges and the top; all are cool metal like Dad’s armor. It  _ is _ armor! He has armor like Dad! Finally, he feels brave enough to let go of Dad’s hand and explore the entire pod from front to back and front again before cautiously sitting down.

“Jate,” says Dad, and that makes him feel better.

But then Dad pushes a button on his gauntlet, and the pod closes! It’s dark and scary!  _ DAD! _ he screams as loud as he can.

The pod opens right back up and Dad is there, reaching out to pat his head. “It’s okay,” says Dad. “You’re going to hide in here. No one will find you.”

_ I don’t want to, Dad! _ he cries. _ I don’t want to! _

Dad has too many feelings for him to understand again. “I have to bring you with me,” says Dad. “So you have to hide.”

Dad reaches out to pat his head and he grabs Dad’s finger. He doesn’t understand. There’s something  _ different _ going on. Dad has felt different ever since he woke up to see Dad staring at him. Why did Dad go get his friends? Where are they going? Who is Greef Karga and why did Dad want reinforcements? He’s never wished he had words so much than he does right now.

“I don’t like it either, kid,” says Dad softly, squeezing his hand gently. “But it’s going to be okay. I won’t let them take you.”

He squeezes Dad’s finger back, but then the ship beeps at Dad and Dad turns away. He sits in the pod and watches as hyperspace stops and instead he sees a grey planet swirled with white and red. It looks familiar. Have they been there before?

Suddenly he remembers. This is where Dad brought him to the White Armors.

He sinks down in the pod. No, no, no! Why are they here? What are they doing?! Are Glasses and all the White Armors still here? They were scary!

Is Dad going to leave him again?

He clutches his blanket. Dad can’t leave him. He can’t leave Dad! But he was bad. He hurt Cara. He made a mess on the floor. He flew the ship even though he’s not allowed to touch anything in the cockpit. What if he was very bad and now Dad decided he didn’t want him anymore? The thought makes him want to cry. He would be good forever and ever if it meant he got to stay with Dad!

Dad looks back over at him. “You’re staying? Jate, jate.”

They are nice words. Dad wants him to be happy. Dad wants him to be safe. He can sense it and his sense with no name says it’s true. Dad left him once but  _ Dad came back. _ Dad took him away from the scary White Armors and Glasses. Dad left him but ever since Dad got him back, Dad has never let anyone hurt him. Dad only let him stay with nice people, like Omera and Winta and Peli, and when bad people like Fuzzy Eyebrows were mean to him, Dad would shoot them. Dad brings him food and rocks him to sleep and wraps him in a warm blanket and made him a box and plays games with him and never, ever hits him or is mean to him like Yarull was. Even though Dad is making him go in a pod, Dad says it’s so he can go with Dad and still be safe. Dad isn’t even going to this job alone like he usually does; Dad found friends to be reinforcements and help him be safe. Dad wants him to be safe.

He still doesn’t know or understand what’s happening. It’s still scary, to see the grey planet get closer and closer and know he will have to hide alone in the dark in the pod. But he has his Dad, and he has to trust his Dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking long and hard about how I wanted to do this particular part of the episode and been planning/Chekov's gunning for it for a looooooooong time. Hope you enjoyed! (And I sure hope Din figures out that he needs to talk to his little bean about having overwhelming feelings.)
> 
> Next time: Meeting Greef Karga and a run-in with big scary flying monsters.


	4. The Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to meet new people and travel to the job, but he still has a bad feeling about this...

He watches the grey planet get closer and closer, until he can see all the flat grey and black rocks below. There are four people standing there, waiting, but he can’t get a close look before the ship lands. Dad gets up and climbs down the ladder, and the pod follows with him in it, just like the last time he came here with Dad.

Below the blurrgs all have saddles on. Kuiil and Cara are sitting on theirs, and IG-11 is holding the reins on the last one for Dad. “Stay on the ship,” Dad tells IG-11. Cara and Kuiil look at each other but don’t argue, and IG-11 only says “Of course.”

Dad turns back to look at him, reaching for his gauntlet, and he knows what that means. He has to be alone in the dark. Dad presses the button and the lid closes, shutting out the light and the faces of Dad and his friends. He doesn’t like it, but he swallows his cries. He has to be brave. He has to trust Dad.

He feels the pod move and he can sense that he’s still close by Dad. He tries not to remember when Yarull would shut the pod and leave it closed for a long, long time until he was very hungry and had cried out all his tears. Instead he focuses on Dad. He can still sense Dad. Dad is close by. Dad hasn’t left him.

The pod stops, and Dad stops by him. He can hear voices and sense new people. Kuiil and Cara are still here, but there are the four people he saw from the ship. He can hear them talking, but it’s too muffled by the pod for him to understand the words. He is very quiet. Dad told him to hide so he could be safe.

But then the pod moves! It is moving away from Dad!  _ Dad! _ he squeaks, but it doesn’t stop. What if there are White Armors again? What if all the White Armors came to get him?!

But when he reaches back with his sense with no name, Dad is watching him. Dad still wants him to be safe. Maybe these four people are more friends or reinforcements?

The pod stops and opens. He looks up and knows who it is. This is Greef Karga.

He is not a hologram now, so he’s not bluish. Instead his skin is brown and so is his long coat. He has the fuzzy black eyebrows humans have over his eyes, but there is one over his mouth too! He doesn’t look so scary. Greef Karga wants Dad to keep him, doesn’t he?

“So…” says Greef, reaching out for him. “This little bogwing is what all the fuss is about.”

Greef picks him up.  _ Hello, _ he says. Greef is definitely not as good at holding him as Dad is, but he stays still and doesn’t complain.

“What a precious little creature!” says Greef. “I can see why you didn’t want to harm a hair on its wrinkled little head.”

Dad doesn’t say anything, and Greef puts him back down. He finally gets a look at the others. Two of them are wearing silly-looking helmets, not nice shiny ones like Dad’s, but the other is a Nikto like Yarull. He sinks down into his pod. Maybe it’s good Dad made him stay in here. He doesn’t want that Nikto to hit him.

“Well, I’m glad this matter will be put to rest once and for all,” says Greef. But whatever else Greef was going to say, he doesn’t hear. The pod closes and quickly goes back to Dad, where it’s supposed to be. He feels a lot better. Dad wants him in the pod, but Dad still wants him to stay close. Dad isn’t leaving him.

The others are talking, though he can’t hear the words. Finally his pod starts to move again, and this time he can sense Dad and Cara and Kuiil moving too. Together, they all start heading to whatever job they are going to.

-

They move for a very, very long time. It’s very boring inside the pod. He wishes Dad would open it so he can see all the interesting things outside. Dad always takes him interesting places. But the pod stays closed, because Dad said he had to hide.

He can still sense people, even though he can’t see them. Greef and his friends walk first and are farther away, and his pod stays in between Dad and Cara and Kuiil. He can’t see them but at least he isn’t all alone.

Finally, after a long long time, they all stop. He hears a lot of talking, and jumps when he hears a blaster shot. But then there is only more talking, and when his pod is opened it is all dark except for a fire with meat roasting over it. It smells so good and makes his tummy growl. Dad is sitting right next to him. _ Dad! _ he says. _ Dad, I’m hungry. I want food, Dad! _

Dad is hungry too. Everyone else is eating, even the two people in funny helmets, but their helmets still show their mouths. Dad can’t eat without taking his off. Maybe he could feed Dad again? But Dad didn’t like that. And Dad isn’t even paying attention to him right now. _ Dad! _

Kuiil walks over and sits down by the pod. He has a plate full of meat that he starts cutting into little pieces. He watches for a moment, but he wants Dad. Dad is too far away for him to pat, so instead he calls  _ Dad! _ again. But Dad just sits and stares in the fire and doesn’t look at him at all.

Someone gently taps his shoulder and he jumps, but when he turns it’s just Kuiil. Kuiil holds out a little piece of meat small enough for him to eat, and he eats it right out of Kuiil’s hand. It’s tasty and it feels so good in his tummy, even if it isn’t Dad feeding him. _ Dad? _ he asks again, but Dad doesn’t respond.

Kuiil keeps feeding him. The meat is yummy even though it’s been cooked; it makes his tummy happy and even his ears perk up. Kuiil has cut all the pieces into the perfect size and feeds him every piece by hand. He still wishes he could get out of the pod, but Dad said he had to stay and he wants to be good, so he stays. He is very nice to Kuiil, being careful not to bite his fingers and telling him,  _ I like it! _

“I guess the little bugger’s a carnivore,” says Greef. “Never seen anything like it.” Greef is sitting on Dad’s other side, though Dad doesn’t really seem to be listening to Greef either. Greef doesn’t care, though, and keeps talking. “They were ready to pay a king’s ransom for that thing. Must be for some kind of highfalutin menagerie.”

A thing? He’s not a thing, he’s him. But Dad doesn’t say that, instead telling Greef, “Let’s go over the plan again.”

His ears perk up. What’s this plan? He wants to know what job Dad is going to do. He wants to be sure Dad is not going to leave him.

But when Greef and Dad talk he doesn’t understand what they say. Greef points at him when he says “bait” but what’s bait, and why is he bait now? Dad asks about reinforcements and he knows that word; Dad must need his reinforcements to fight other reinforcements. Greef says they’re “ex-Empire” and he doesn’t know what that means, only that the word “Empire” makes Cara angry, but a strange anger with a little bit of sad under it.

Dad doesn’t like the plan very much. “How many will there be?”

Greef sighs and looks away. “No more than four.”

Something is off about the way Greef says that. He can’t tell what, just something, something different from the other words Greef says. He chews on another bite of food Kuiil gives him, trying to figure it out.

“Trust me,” says Greef, taking another piece off the meat over the fire. “Nothing can go wrong.”

But suddenly a huge monster swoops down and snatches Greef’s food! Everyone jumps up and fires blasters into the dark. He tries to see the flying monster, but it’s too dark even for his eyes and it’s scary.  _ Dad! _ he says, and for one wonderful moment Dad finally pays attention. But Dad only closes his pod, and now he can’t see anything at all.

He grabs his blanket, sinking down as low as he can. He doesn’t want the monsters to hit the pod and make a scary sound, or snatch him up and take him far away. He can hear lots of blasters and shouting. It sounds like when Yarull told him quiet time and put him in the pod and he had to stay there while there were booms. He squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn’t want booms! He doesn’t want to stay in here!

This isn’t booms, though. These are big monsters with huge wings that can fly. He saw one grab the food right out of Greef’s hands! What if they get Dad? What if they carry Dad far away and he never sees Dad again?  _ Dad! _ he cries, scratching on the wall of the pod, but no one gets him. He can only hear shouting and feel fear. He hides his face in his blanket, wishing he couldn’t hear any of it, and that he was back on the ship with Dad and not on this bad planet.

Suddenly it’s quiet. The quiet is almost scarier and he reaches out right away to make sure Dad is there. He can sense Dad, and then the pod opens and Dad and Kuiil are there.  _ Dad! _ he says. Dad is all right!

He hears another noise, though, and senses someone is hurt. He looks over and Greef is lying on the ground, groaning and in pain. It’s hard to see in the firelight, but he can see big bloody scratches on Greef’s arm. The monsters hurt him.

Everyone goes over to help Greef. Greef is hurting a lot and everyone is worried. Even Dad walks away from his pod, over to Greef. He can’t see what’s happening or what’s wrong. He only knows that the monsters must’ve hurt Greef somehow.

“How bad?” asks Dad.

“Bad,” says Cara. “The poison’s spreading fast.”

Cara moves enough and even in the dim firelight he can see how big the scratches are on Greef’s arm. They are hurting him a lot. “So this… this is how it happens,” says Greef.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” says Cara. She sounds calm but she doesn’t feel calm. She shouts that she needs medpacs. He knows what those are; they help people who are hurt. Greef is hurt but he is getting weaker, and no one else gives Cara a medpac. There’s no more, and even the one Cara used didn’t make Greef any better.

He’s supposed to stay in the pod. But there’s no one else to help Greef. Just him.

He climbs out of the pod. He can fix it. Dad always tells him no and don't touch when he tries to fix Dad, but he knows he can fix it. He’s done it before. Yarull was hurt and bleeding once on his leg, and he made the hurt and the blood go away. It was the only time Yarull ever picked him up and held him nicely and smiled and laughed. _ Look at that, squirt! Wonder what else you can do? Say, can you conjure me a winning sabacc hand? _ Even Yarull, who was always angry or sad, was happy when he fixed his hurt. And even though Dad never lets him help fix him, Dad feels happy when he tries.

Cara shines a red light on Greef’s arm as he walks up, squeezing beside her so he can reach Greef’s hurt arm. “It’s still spreading. This isn’t working,” says Cara.

Cara sees him and tells Kuiil “Get this thing out of here.” He doesn’t hear what Kuiil says and no hands grab him. He touches Greef’s arm, just like he did to Yarull’s leg, and concentrates on fixing it.

Greef says something he doesn’t hear. He has to make the hurt go away. He doesn’t want Greef to hurt. He wants the hurt to  _ stop. _ He wants the skin to close and the blood to stay inside and Greef to be all right. He can  _ feel _ Greef with his sense with no name, flickering like a light going out, but he makes the light bright again until he can’t anymore. Now there is nothing left on Greef’s arm but thin red lines; he barely sees them before his legs suddenly stop standing and he plops down on his bottom. But he did it. He fixed Greef. Greef won’t be Gone.

He blinks. He’s so tired. He needs to sleep. Everyone is staring at him and there are so many feelings to sense but he just wants to sleep.

Arms scoop him up and he feels cool, familiar metal. Dad carries him to the pod and he feels his blanket wrapped around him and Dad gently laying him down in the pod, and then he can’t stay awake anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greef remains the one character who doesn't get a Baby Yoda nickname! I threw a lot around; my first thought was Black Hair but that was already used briefly for Cara, then I thought Mustache but since Baby doesn't know what that is he'd probably just say Mouth Eyebrow and that would REALLY undercut the tension and (if you can't tell) I'm keeping this episode serious (to maximize reader pain, ofc XD). So I just had Baby learn the name.
> 
> Next time: HE DOESN'T LIKE ANY OF THIS, DAD


	5. The Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn't like this. He doesn't want to leave his Dad!

He sees a strange dark shape, crashed and broken on the rock. The people in brown robes are scurrying all around it. He tries to tell them to go away because Dad doesn’t like them, but he has no voice. Then a light shines from inside the shape and the brown robe people run away. The shape breaks open and then out steps a man dressed all in black with a black sword in his hand.

The man doesn’t do anything. He just stands there with his black sword. But he can sense it: this is a Bad Man.

Light shines everywhere, hurting his eyes and making him cover his face. When he opens his eyes again, he sees Kuiil peering into the pod from on top of his blurrg. “He has awoken,” said Kuiil. “He seems fine.”

“Thank you,” says Dad quietly; Dad is close but he can’t see him. Before he can tell Dad he wants to be carried, the pod is closed again.  _ E chu ta, _ he says, but of course in the pod no one hears him.

He can’t see; he can only sense. Dad and Kuiil and Cara are still here, and there is only one blurrg now. Dad and Cara keep walking and he stays by Dad, and ahead he can sense Greef and two of Greef’s reinforcements. He wonders if the monsters got the other one.

Feelings are all around him, but they’re twisted and confusing. Dad still has that strange feeling he’s had since that time he woke up and Dad was watching him. Cara feels like Yarull and Big Boss and the others did a lot, always-watching and wanting to fight. But Greef is the most confusing. His feelings are all a mess, wanting and not-wanting something, unable to decide which something to choose.

They all walk a long long time. It’s so boring in the pod. It’s dark and he can’t see anything, and he can’t hear anything outside either, not even voices. No one is talking. Something is hanging in the air, that feeling like glass about to break. He doesn’t even whine or scratch on the inside of the pod because the feeling is so heavy.

It’s been so long he almost falls asleep again when suddenly it’s like the glass breaks and something screams inside him to warn Dad, now now now! But before he can yell or even sit up, he hears a blaster, and then Greef’s two reinforcements are Gone. What’s going on?!

He hears a voice and it sounds like Greef. Dad is still here and so is Cara and Kuiil. But who shot the reinforcements? He can’t sense anyone else. He can’t see what’s going on inside this stupid pod!

Dad said the pod was like the bunk, a place for him to hide. The bunk opens and closes with a button. The pod does too, just with the button on Dad’s gauntlet. He closes his eyes and pictures the button as hard as he can. He pictures the button being pressed, and the pod opening.

It works! The pod opens!

“The plan was to kill you and take the kid,” says Greef.

What?! But Greef said he wanted Dad to keep him! Dad and Cara have their blasters pointed at Greef. Dad should shoot him!

“But after what happened last night, I couldn’t go through with it,” says Greef.

Dad and Cara don’t say anything. Maybe he should squeeze Greef’s neck? But Dad did not like that. Is Greef a friend or not? He doesn’t have any blasters pointed at Dad and Cara. He isn’t hurting them. He doesn’t sense that Greef wants to be mean. Greef wants to help them and he said  _ after what happened last night. _ Now he understands: he was nice to Greef, so Greef wants to be nice to him. Greef doesn’t want him to be hurt.

“Come on, you can gun me down here and now and it wouldn’t violate the Code. But if you do this child” - Greef points at him - “will never be safe.”

“We’ll take our chances,” says Cara, but he looks at Dad. Dad is looking at him. Dad has too many feelings for him to understand again. Dad isn’t sure what to do. _ Dad, _ he says, but Dad doesn’t answer.

“The Client is obsessed with obtaining this asset. You tried to run but where did it get you?” asks Greef.

Cara mutters something to Dad, but Kuiil says “Perhaps you should let him speak.” Kuiil is the only one with no blaster out, and he is still much calmer than everyone else.

“Listen,” says Greef. “We both need the Client to be eliminated. Let me take the child to him, and then you two -”

“No,” says Dad before he can tell Greef no. He doesn’t want to leave Dad!

“Let’s just kill him and get out of here,” says Cara.

But Dad only lowers his blaster and says “He’s right.”

Everyone is surprised.  _ Dad? _ he calls. “What are you doing?” asks Cara as Dad puts his blaster away.

“As long as the Imp lives, he’ll send hunters after the child,” says Dad. Hunters? Hunters after him? Is that why people with blasters show up and they had to leave nice people like Winta and Peli so they wouldn’t get hurt?

“It’s a trap!” says Cara. She doesn’t believe Greef at all.

“Bring me,” says Dad.

“Bring you?” says Greef, surprised, right as he says  _ Bring you where, Dad? _

“Tell him you captured me,” says Dad. “Get me close to him, and I’ll kill him.”  _ Kill who, Dad? _ he asks, but no one answers. No one is listening to him.

“That’s a good idea,” says Greef. “Give me your blaster.”

_ No, Dad! _ he says, but Dad does! How is Dad going to shoot anyone without his blaster? What if someone shoots Dad and he can’t shoot back and he gets hurt? What if someone shoots Dad and then Dad is Gone?!

Cara doesn’t like this either. “This is insane!”

“It’s the only way,” says Dad.

“Well, I’m coming with you,” says Cara.

“No no no, that would make them suspicious,” says Greef.

“I don’t care! I’m coming,” says Cara. She is going to come whether they let her or not. She doesn’t want Dad to be hurt. She really is Dad’s friend, he realizes. He was wrong to squeeze her neck. He won’t ever do it again, especially if he gets to go with Cara to stay with Dad and make sure he isn’t hurt.

“Tell them she caught me,” says Dad.

Greef likes this better. “Fine. Then she can bring the child.”

He likes this. He and Cara can look after Dad while he has no blaster. _ Let’s go, Dad! _

But Dad says no! “The kid goes back in the ship.”

“But without the child, none of this works!” says Greef.

_ I want to go,  _ he says, but once again, no one listens to him. They’re all talking about him and no one even looks at him, not even Dad.

“I have a plan,” says Dad. “Kuiil, ride back to the  _ Razor Crest _ with the child and seal yourself in. When you’re inside, engage ground security protocols. Nothing on this planet will breach those doors.”

_ No, Dad! _ he says, but still no one looks at him or listens to him. Kuiil hands Dad something. “Here’s a comlink. I will keep the child safe.”

Kuiil talks to Cara too but he doesn’t listen. He doesn’t  _ want _ to go with Kuiil. He doesn’t want Kuiil to keep him safe! Kuiil is nice but he isn’t Dad. He’s supposed to be with his Dad!

_ Dad, Dad, _ he calls desperately, but Dad isn’t listening. He hands Greef binders that Greef puts on Dad’s hands. Dad has no blaster and now he can’t hit! What is he going to do if mean people try and hurt him?! What is he going to do if someone tries to make him Gone?!

Greef is checking the blasters and Kuiil is putting something on his belt and Cara is wrapping a cloth over her arm and no one is looking at him, no one will tell him what is going on, he just wants Dad, he wants Dad to hold him, he wants Dad to  _ tell him what’s going on - _

But it’s Kuiil who walks over to the pod and wraps him in his blanket and picks him up. He almost speaks, but what’s the point? He has no words to use and no one is listening to him anyway. Not even Dad.

Kuiil pats his back nicely and takes him away from the pod. He tries to whine but it gets stuck in his throat. He just watches the pod close as Dad and Cara and Greef walk away. The pod follows them, but he can’t. He wants to jump down and run after Dad and tell Dad to let him come. Dad promised he could come! Dad gave him the pod so he could stay with Dad and so Dad could keep him safe!

_ Dad! _ he cries one last time, but Dad doesn’t look back.

Kuiil climbs on the bluurg and starts to ride away. He wriggles enough to look over Kuiil’s shoulder. He can see Dad, still walking away with his pod. Dad’s cloak is waving in the breeze, and light shines on the silver helmet.

He watches as they go farther and farther away, until he can’t see Dad anymore. But Dad never looks back.

-

They ride over the grey rock. The blurrg goes faster now. Kuiil doesn’t talk to him, only the blurrg, telling her sometimes “That’s a girl” or “Keep going, girl, giddap.” They don’t stop. They just keep going far away from Dad.

He doesn’t understand. Dad said he was supposed to go with Dad, and even got him a pod to keep him safe. He’s supposed to stay in the pod. He didn’t like the pod but he’d still rather be in the pod with Dad, even with the pod closed, than riding far away. Why did Dad give him to Kuiil?

He feels all cold inside. Maybe Dad doesn’t want him any more after all. Maybe Dad gave him to Kuiil to take away and put back on the planet where Dad found him.

No, no, it can’t be! Dad  _ does _ want him. Dad  _ has _ to want him! Dad wants him to be safe and happy. Dad wouldn’t want him to be those things if Dad didn’t want him, wouldn’t he? Yarull never cared if he was happy, but Dad does. There must be something else. Something he’s missing.

He tries to think even though the blurrg is going so fast over the rough rock and he shakes with every step. Dad said he couldn’t hide on the ship this time, but still wanted him to hide and be safe in the pod. Greef wanted him to go to wherever they were going too. But then Dad changed his mind and wouldn’t take him along, but they took his pod and closed it. His pod was closed even when he was in it. It will still look like he’s in it if it’s closed. They are tricking someone into thinking he’s there! That must be it! But who?

Even as he thinks of the question he knows the answer. Dad brought him here before and left him. White Hair said  _ Yes, yes, yes _ and Glasses said  _ He really is the specimen we need _ and they both called him  _ the asset _ the way Big Boss always did. It’s them! They’re the ones this job is for! Dad is going back to make them Gone so they can never hurt him again. That’s what Dad was talking about. Dad is going to trick them into thinking Dad brought him back, but this time Dad won’t leave him there and Dad will shoot them instead.

But how is Dad going to shoot them without his blaster? His ears droop. Dad has no blaster, no rifle, and no other things from his blaster cabinet. He has binders on his hands so he can’t even hit. Dad is always good at fighting, but there will be lots of White Armors. They could shoot Dad or hit Dad or kick Dad like they did to him. Or Glasses could chase Dad with his needle and make him go to sleep. Then how would Dad fight? They could kill him!

He wishes he had gone with Dad. Even if he had to stay in the dark in the pod and be quiet. Even if Glasses is there with his scary needle, even if there are a hundred White Armors, he wishes he could help his Dad. He’s so small but he could make them chase him instead like he did to Bad Droid. He could push them like he tried to do to Fuzzy Eyebrows and Bad Droid. He could squeeze their necks, unless Dad didn’t want him to. He doesn’t want to lose Dad. Dad wants him to be safe and happy but he can’t be safe and happy without Dad. He wants Dad to be safe and happy too. He wants it more than anything. More than frogs, more than his box, more than the skughole. More than  _ anything. _

“Kuiil, are you back to the ship yet?” says Dad’s voice from the funny little cylinder on Kuiil’s belt. “Are you there? Do you copy?”

_ Dad! _ he says as Kuiil pulls the cylinder off his belt and tells it “Yes.”

“Are you back to the ship yet?” asks Dad again.

_ No, _ he tells Dad, and Kuiil says “Not yet.”

“Get back to the ship and bail! Get the kid out of here! We’re pinned down!”

_ No! _ he cries as Kuiil shakes the reins and makes the blurrg go much faster. No, they can’t leave Dad! Dad is in trouble!  _ Kuiil, no! We have to help Dad! _

But Kuiil doesn’t listen. “Giddap, giddap!” he tells the blurrg, and she goes even faster. He wants to cry and scream for Kuiil to  _ listen to him _ and  _ go back _ and  _ help Dad. _ They can’t leave Dad here with all the White Armors! They will make Dad Gone. They will  _ kill _ him! But he’s too scared and too frozen. It feels like his whole body is shaking and not just because of the blurrg. Even his tears are too frozen and can’t leave his eyes. He doesn’t know what to do.

He can see the ship ahead. If they reach it, they will leave Dad. He doesn’t want to leave Dad! But Dad told them to leave. Dad told  _ him _ to leave. He’s supposed to listen to Dad. But if he listens to Dad, Dad will be Gone!

He can hear a horrible whining sound. It’s not the blurrg, and it’s not Kuiil. It’s coming from far away and it’s getting closer.

“Kuiil, are you back to the ship yet? They’re on to us!” says Dad’s voice from the cylinder.

_ Dad, _ he cries,  _ Dad, don’t make me go! _

Kuiil doesn’t answer. The blurrg is going so fast and Kuiil is holding him tight. The whining sound is getting louder and louder.

“Kuiil, come in!” says Dad.

_ Dad, Dad! _ he cries. He needs his Dad. He can’t go without Dad!

“Kuiil, do you copy?!” says Dad, and now Dad sounds scared. “Kuiil!”

The ramp to the ship lowers. They are almost there. The whining sound is so loud it hurts his ears. What could it be? He has a bad feeling…

He looks over Kuiil’s shoulder and sees there are two White Armors on speederbikes. He opens his mouth to tell Kuiil, but then there is a blaster noise and a flash of light so bright it hurts his eyes. He screams as he flies through the air and slams into the hard ground.

“Kuiil! Are you there?” says Dad’s voice from somewhere far away.

He blinks. He can’t see. He can just hear Dad’s voice. “Come in, Kuiil. Kuiil, come in!”

He tries to sense Kuiil. But Kuiil is Gone.

The whining noise comes close, so close it feels like it is going to tear his ears apart. Something snatches him up and stuffs him in a bag. His blanket is wrapped around him, trapping his arms and legs, but now he can see. He looks up. A White Armor has him, and they are on the speederbike and going far, far away from the ship.

He can’t hear Dad’s voice anymore. Kuiil is Gone; the White Armors killed him. And now the White Armors have him again, and this time he doesn’t know if Dad is coming back to get him.

He doesn’t know if he will ever see his Dad again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fic! Bring unto me your tears! >:) If it makes you feel better, my sister yelled at me a lot whenever I read parts out loud to her.
> 
> Next time: Redemption! In a week or two depending on my writing speed, as always. Please subscribe to the series if you want updates because it will be a new work. Meanwhile, you can [find me on Tumblr](https://ooops-i-arted.tumblr.com/)!


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